You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'd cum for enchiladas.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
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