I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
