This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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