Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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