She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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