sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
