Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
they're like a gay fantastic four
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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