He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
