Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
