I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
