I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
