A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize