Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize