Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
