We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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