She is in my trunk
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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