Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
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the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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