My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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