I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
