Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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