yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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