did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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