But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
