I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So vagazzling was a success
He shit in the fireplace
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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