No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
