did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I am spending my child support on dildos
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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