Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Randomize
