and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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