let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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