ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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