I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
