Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
