I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
