OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
