Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
