WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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