In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
