Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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