i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
