I am in a vortex of obligation.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
