We're facebook friends in real life
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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