Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
