just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
