My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
