I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
