Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Randomize
