I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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