I am puke
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
