do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
