what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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