we're blogging at a bar
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
