trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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