hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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