if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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