I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
