my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
