its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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