i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
