gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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