you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
