why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
