Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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