im drinking this country out of the recession.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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