In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize