honey bunches of taint.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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