Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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