Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
